bus rides

Wanna know what’s really high on my list of my Singaporeans Are Really Lame list?

The Inability To Move Their Butts.

It’s usually a situation where you’re sitting happily alone at the window seat, then the bus gets crowded and a middle age lady with too-strong perfume, carrying a “Louis Vuitton” purse sits next to you at the aisle seat.

Uh oh. Your stop next. Whatcha gonna do whatcha gonna do?

– fidget a bit with your bag to indicate your preparing to leave.
– pretend to call from your friend and say “I’m alighting at the next stop.”
– slightly shuffle your butt, thus creating a Physical Hint.
– glance meekly at Dragon Lady because while you really love being in her presence, you need to alight because School overpowers everything.

I do all of the above, I even wait for the bus to stop before asking Her to let me out.

Dragon Lady does the following (accordingly):
– pretend to ignore me (but secretly checking out the stuff in my bag)
– pretend to ignore me (but secretly checking out my phone wallpaper)
– clicks tongue annoyingly at my butt-shuffling
– gives a Stare (which is said could turn man to stone) before PIVOTING her arse.

PIVOT.

HELLO WOMAN YOUR BUTT ALONE IS EXCEEDING THE WIDTH OF THE SEAT JUST GET UP AND LET ME WALK OUT WITHOUT BEING WORRIED OF STICKING MY BUTT IN YOUR PERFECTLY POWDERED NOSE. GOSH.

If there’s no one in the aisle, ESPECIALLY if there’s no one in the aisle, get UP and let me walk out please.

Stupid Butt-Pivoters.

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