It’s been a tough week.
Wednesday saw cracks. Seeing His love flow so tangibly through me but not to me in the form of an email, a Word, for someone else.
“It’s not fair, where is my random email of encouragement?”
Friday saw breakage. Yes, it’s normal to scream at frustration. But I’m pretty sure it’s not normal if the aforementioned screaming happens every hour throughout the day when all I’d done was sit in front of my laptop, working. I was going insane.
Saturday was the beginning. Acknowledgement that just because a feeling wasn’t rational didn’t make it any less important. I slept at 5am, grateful for girlfriends who tolerate the grossness of roadside cafés listening to me whine, and aunt-eater jokes.
I felt better, but things didn’t feel justified.
But today…today was the day. Got to talking to TZR in bouts over the day. It was over hazelnut tea that the conversation clicked. And at that moment I realized how grown up my baby cousin was. This young man sharing his moments of wrestling with obedience (high five kiddo), his friendships, his little miracles, his heart for the youth even though they drove him nuts (high five again).
Not-so-baby-sized baby cousin
He was exactly what I needed. A reminder that it’s in the little moments and remembering the small things that we find Peace. I decided to make a list of 9 little things to be grateful for:
1. Baby R’s laugh when I vacuum-kiss his cheek
2. That silly collage of children and dog photos
3. Cinnamon coffee
4. That really bad photo H sent me of his cat
5. Confirming my April/May mission trip
6. Every single hug from the kids, even the ones when they head-butt me
7. Dad taking bagSSSSS of vomit from sicky me to toss without a single flinch
8. The entire soundtrack to the Divergent movie
9. The long evening walks home
I gotta learn to be like the anteater.